Craigslist Scammer Meets Awkward Tom Cruise and Awesome Rollercoaster of a Conversation Ensues

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mattstaff
May 9, 2017 2:00 PM EDT

We laughed, we cried, and in the end we all became better people reading this. 

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  • 01
    Text - G83% 8:16 AM (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE Thursday, November 3, 2016 4 245/65-17 Firestone destination le2 tires $500 (Aurora) 6:09 AM ? 6:14 AM still available 6:14 AM Yup 6:19 AM can i no the condition 6:19 AM It's in the ad. Like new 6:20 AM okay can you accommodate check as payment and wait on till it clears before the pickup 6:21 AM Sure 6:21 AM okay kindly get back to me with your full name and address so i will mail it to you asap with zip code 6:23 AM Enter message SEND
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  • 02
    Text - 83% 8:16 AM 4G (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE Во Сеphus 100 Gullible Ln Moron, CA 90210 6:24 AM Bo Cephus is your full name 6:25 AM Yes 6:25 AM i will send the tracking to you asap 6:26 AM OK sounds great 6:26 АМ and the money come inform of over payment and send rest to my dealer so he will arrange for pickup 6:27 AM If you could kindly hurry I have other buyers but would like to sell to you. YOu seem like a great person 6:27 AM okay the check will deliver to you by Saturday okay 6:28 АМ OK I
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  • 03
    Text - HG83% 8:16 AM (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE Can you get it here by Friday? 6:29 AM i will try to make it possible okay 6:30 AM OK. I will like to see you get the item. 6:31 AM You seem like great person it my dealer that will come for the item okay 6:31 AM OK. What is your dealers name 6:32 AM the money will come inform of over payment and you will send the rest to him so will come for the item okay 6:33 AM OK... What is his name 6:33 AM Debora Farmer 6:34 AM and you will send it to her by wal
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  • 04
    Text - l 82% 8:17 AM (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE What is your name sir 6:35 AM lambert wayne 6:36 АМ That's a nice strong name. It's very nice to meet you sir. I feel like we can do great business together 6:36 AM okay but i will like you to deposit the money by ATM or your check Mobil deposit okay 6:39 AM OK. I will like to know how you will use the item. I will let Kevin to make sure I goes to a good owner. Will you take great care? 6:40 AM yes of cus 6:40 АМ Do you have children or animals that
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  • 05
    Text - l 82% 4G 8:17 AM (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE yes of cus that why i wanted to buy it cus i will take care of it has my child 6:45 AM That's fantastic. I bet you're a WOnderful father aren't you 6:47 AM yes but am not with my children for now okay 6:48 AM Awe I will be sorry to hear. Why are they not with you 6:49 AM yes but am still there father cus i get divorce with there mother 6:50 AM That's no good. I had a divorce too. How many children do you have? 6:51 AM two what of you 6:52 AM 14 I
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  • 06
    Face - l 82% 4G 8:17 AM (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE and get the money deposited by ATM or your bank Mobil deposit for fast clearance 6:54 AM I most certainly will take care of that, friend Can I call you friend 6:55 AM no for now 6:56 AM We aren't friends? 6:56 AM but you can text me send me your pic pls 6:56 AM Enter message SEND (:)
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  • 07
    Text - 82% 8:17 AM 4G (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE MMS I will like to see your picture too 6:58 AM NCE1966 MMS 6:59 AM Oh no... Will your puppy hurt the item? 7:00 AM am not the owner 7:00 AM is for my boss just want to get it ride to him 7:01 AM Oh OK. That's great to hear. What do you do for work? 7:05 AM an engineering 7:06 AM Enter message SEND
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  • 08
    Text - 82% 8:17 AM 4G (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE That's great... So am I. Where did you attend university 7:06 AM maryland 7:07 AM So did I. Which school in Maryland? I was born and raised there? 7:07 AM University of Maryland, Baltimore County 7:09 AM That's great. So did I 7:09 AM okay what of you 7:10 AM The same as you 7:10 AM okay 7:10 AM We're friends no... I'm so excited 7:11 AM okay but 7:11 AM Enter message SEND (:)
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  • 09
    Text - 82% 8:18 AM 4G (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE Ok 8:26 AM okay still love and i love you more okay 8:27 AM I love you more 8:28 AM okay thank you 8:28 AM hello 1:39 PM Hi 1:40 PM have you send it my lovely friend of mine 1:42 PM Not yet. I am unfortunately still stuck at work 1:42 PM okay did you no the time you will be free 1:43 PM I still don't know yet. We have some broken things that I am fixing 1:43 PM Enter message SEND
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  • 10
    Text - 82% 8:17 AM 4G (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE But? 7:12 AM i hope you are trustful 7:12 AM I hope you are as well. I will like you to take great care of the item How would you use the item? 7:13 AM yes of cus 7:13 AM cus i love it that why i bill for it okay 7:14 AM You love it a lot? 7:14 AM yes of cus 7:14 AM I will hope you are very trustful with 7:15 AM that. yes of cus i am 7:16 AM You will count on me being trustful, friend.... I love you 7:17 AM Enter message SEND
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  • 11
    Text - 4G 82% 8:18 AM (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE will |get it sent today okay but you 1:44 PM If they are still open when I get off I am 1:47 PM they close around 9pm my good friend 1:48 PM I will be working onit 1:49 PM okay pls just try to send today okay 1:50 PM I will my friend 1:52 PM i will be grateful and love you more if you did 1:53 PM I will definitely be trying 1:53 PM okay i love you 1:54 PM Are you sure? 1:59 PM yes of cus have sure 1:59 PM Enter message SEND (:)
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  • 12
    Text - 82% 8:18 AM 4G (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE are you there my good friend 7:37 AM I will do my best to. I am swamped at work and they won't let me leave right now 7:38 AM okay 7:38 AM just try to get it sent to her pllssss okay 7:39 AM I will my great friend 7:39 AM can i go ahead to send you are info 7:41 AM Sure 7:44 AM Name: Debora Farmer City:Haltom City State: TX Zip Code:76117 7:45 AM You not scam me right? Friend? 7:46 AM he receipt Enter message SEND
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  • 13
    Text - 82% 8:18 AM ЧЕ (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE Are you? 8:17 AM am not am off today 8:18 AM which time are you closing 8:19 AM I don't know yet 8:19 AM which work are you doing my friend 8:19 AM Engineering 8:21 AM okay that nice 8:22 AM i love friend you nice to meet you 8:23 AM You as well my friend 8:24 AM i will be expecting the money send okay and the snap okay 8:25 AM Enter message SEND
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  • 14
    Text - 82% 8:17 AM 4G (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE u to just send 700 to her when i sen you a check you will take back from it okay 7:28 AM OK. When will your check get here? 7:28 AM by friday 7:29 AM Great. I will be excited to get it 7:30 AM send the money to her okay will you now 7:31 AM I can after work 7:32 AM okay by which time 7:32 AM I work till 8pm but my bank is closed 7:33 AM you will send it by walmert to walmert to her 7:34 AM and i want you to get it sent to her today 7:36 AM Enter mes
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  • 15
    Text - 82% 8:17 AM 4G (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE i love you too okay 7:17 AM You're my best friend 7:17 AM okay but you have other friend too i no that 7:18 AM Yes but none like you 7:19 AM okay i love that i love u you are my great friend ever 7:20 AM I love you too forever.... You are amazing friend 7:23 AM okay can you just do me a favor 7:24 AM I will definitely 7:24 AM friend. I love you Anything for my 7:27 AM okay my dealer text me right away that she need some money to get are some things
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  • 16
    Text - 82% 8:18 AM 4G (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE are you there 8:00 AM I am... I love you too my best friend 8:02 AM when you send the money you will snap the receipt and the reference number to me okay good friend of mine 8:04 AM I definitely will 8:07 AM okay i love you 8:09 AM where are you 8:14 AM I love you very much 8:15 AM are are at work 8:16 AM I am 8:17 AM okayn 8:17 AM Enter message SEND
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  • 17
    Text - 82% 8:18 AM 4G (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE yes of cus why will i do that to you which time will you get it sent to her cus you will send me the pic of the reference number and t 7:47 AM I will try to after work. I have to work so much to pay for my 14 children 7:49 AM which time you get it sent just tell to now okay 7:50 AM I don't know for sure what time.what time will your check be here tomorrow 7:51 AM by 4 7:51 AM Ok 7:51 AM but you will get the money sent today right 7:52 AM After work
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  • 18
    Text - 4G 82% 8:17 AM (678) 741-9409 MORE CALL i love you too okay 7:17 AM best friend You're my 7:17 AM okay but you have other friend too i no that 7:18 AM Yes but none like you 7:19 AM okay i love that i love u you are my great friend ever 7:20 AM I love you too forever.... You are amazing friend 7:23 AM okay can you just do me a favor 7:24 AM I will definitely 7:24 AM Anything for my friend. I love you 7:27 AM okay my dealer text me right away that she need some money to get are some things
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  • 19
    Text - 82% 8:19 AM (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE Would you care for me if this crash hurt me very badly? 4:13 PM why not yes cus i love you 4:14 PM Can you send me another picture of your face friend? It might make me feel better 4:15 PM SUPP BAOC ows MMS 4:16 PM Why do you still have puppy? Are you being truth? Is it really your puppy? I don't want the item hurt by puppy your boss 4:17 PM the puppy just like me that why i add a pic with it always okay 4:18 PM pls go ahead and go send the money plss
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  • 20
    Text - 82% 8:18 AM 4GS (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE okay 3:50 PM Raystar Taxi number +1 916-222-4499 3:53 PM Are they the cheapest 3:53 PM yes 3:54 PM friend OK thank you My phone won't dial the number. I think it was damaged in the accident 3:54 PM just to to ask some to help you to call it friend 3:55 PM I'm trying. No one here will help. They are mean 3:55 PM call them for me friend? Ask Can you them to pick me up at this address? 1689 Arden Way #1167, Sacramento, СА 95815 3:56 PM i cant call for
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  • 21
    Text - 4G 82% 8:19 AM (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE What? Why would I not truth friend? I love 4:03 РМ уou okay then get it sent to her pls she need i will send the check tomorrow will remove back plss and you 4:05 РМ Am trying friend but am hurt. 4:06 PM that mean you can send it right so i will no what to do next pls just tell me to know 4:07 PM My head hurts so bad friend. My heart hurts that you don't care 4:08 PM i care for you but i just want i will no what next to do friend i still love you pl
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  • 22
    Text - 4G 82% 8:19 AM (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE Am trying friend but am hurt bad 4:19 PM where are you 4:20 PM Waiting for ride to hospital, friend... 4:21 PM Need medicine. Am hurt since friend 4:22 PM Huh Н Enter message SEND (:)
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  • 23
    Text - 82% 8:19 AM 4G (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE 4:22 PM will you send it pls i want to know now 4:23 PM I will f 4:24 PM than by which time f she need the money right away plsss i bag of you 4:25 PM Enter message SEND
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  • 24
    Text - 4G 82% 8:18 AM (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE just send the pic to me ilove u 2:06 PM I will 2:08 PM okay 2:46 PM are you there 3:03 PM I am... Still working, my friend 3:03 PM I'm about to leave 3:04 PM okay will you go straight when you leave 3:04 PM I will 3:05 PM okay i will be waiting to here from you 3:05 РМ Ok 3:06 PM okay my good friend 3:06 PM Enter message SEND
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  • 25
    Text - 82% 8:18 AM (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE how far friend 7 3:35 PM what going on 3:38 PM I crash my vehicle on the way. I'm at 3:38 PM accident site now that mean you cant get jt sent to her 3:39 PM My vehicle is smash. I'm stuck 3:40 PM talking to police are going to send it 3:41 PM Am trying friend Am hurt though. May go to hospital 3:41 PM okay no problem just try to send it pllsss friend 3:42 PM Ok Am hurt bad Enter message SEND
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  • 26
    Text - 82% 8:18 AM 4G (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE I thought you were off of work friend? What are you doing? 3:58 PM i stay till 5pm 3:58 PM but which phone are you using to text me friend 3:59 PM I only have one phone 4:00 PM are you there 4:01 PM Where? 4:01 PM but which phone are you using to text me friend 4:01 PM Am hurt friend. Am hurt bad 4:01 PM I can text but can't call. I think 4:02 PM speaker is broke can you just snap the pic of you where you are hut to me pls so i will you are saying t
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  • 27
    Text - 82% 8:18 AM 4G (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE May need your help friend 3:43 PM what type of help 3:43 РМ May need ride to hospital 3:44 PM what did you mean i should come down to get you a ride 3:45 PM Can you look up taxis in the area for me. I need a good cheap one so I have money left over for your shipper. Can you find the cheapest one for me I'm in Sacramento California 3:46 PM am no in California am in maryland but i will send 1090 to you in the check you will remove the money you dealer
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  • 28
    Text - ЧЕ 82% 8:19 AM (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE I'm going now 9:45 AM okay 9:47 AM I'm almost to Walmart 9:47 AM am waiting for the snap okay 9:47 AM What's the info? 9:48 AM okay Name: Debora Farmer City:Haltom City State: TX Zip Code:76117 9:48 AM Just got to walmart 9:49 AM okay 9:49 AM Fbi is here 9:50 AM for what 9:50 AM Enter message SEND
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  • 29
    Text - 82% 8:19 AM 4G (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE Am sad. Am hurt bad you don't care Only care about money for ship 4:35 PM if you no you cant help pls just wait for the check tomorrow okay 4:36 PM OK.So we are not friend. You don't love me. We only do business. I wait for checks only 4:37 PM we are still friend and i love you more okay 4:39 PM We wait for checks... Am very sad now. Tell me when check delivery 4:40 PM tomorrow or Saturday okay 4:40 PM OK just message me then 4:41 PM i will send you
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  • 30
    Text - 82% 8:19 AM 4G (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE and immediately the check get deliver deposit by ATM or your bank Mobil check app okay 4:43 PM And wait for clear funds 4:44 PM I only trust friends and you not want 4:46 PM friends you don't love me i love you so much 4:50 PM Am so sad 4:50 PM me too cus you promise you will send the money to her and you did not and have tell the money will get to her today 4:52 PM did you get me friend i still love you so much i love you 4:53 PM Am only reason am
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  • 31
    Text - 82% 8:19 AM 4GS (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE Am hurt so bad 4:55 PM okay go to the hospital than 4:56 PM are you in the hospital love 4:58 PM talk to me 4:59 PM Am hurt and sad 5:00 PM than go to the hospital right away okay 5:00 PM I am 5:01 PM okay love i love u 5:01 PM I don't think you do 5:01 PM why did you say that 5:02 PM Friday, November 4, 2016 Enter message SEND
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  • 32
    Text - 82% 8:19 AM 4G (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE what going on pls let me no 9:52 AM what keeping to much time friend 9:54 AM They are asking me about you and your shipper They want to see all messages 9:55 AM the them you want to send the money to your sibling did you get it 9:56 AM No they won't let me. They keep asking about you. Talking about 9:56 AM prison okay go on and tell them okay wont hurt you okay 9:57 AM They want you and your shipper. Not me 9:58 AM you mean i should come down to you
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  • 33
    Text - 4G 82% 8:19 AM (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE i cant cus am not in state am in maryland for now 9:59 AM They have people telling me you aren't in Maryland and they are 10:00 AM tracking you and this shipper you mean they want to track my shipper 10:01 AM And you. They are tracking you both right now They know you're not in maryland 10:01 AM fuck you mad guy 10:02 AM What? What do I tell them? They want more info on yoy 10:02 AM Hello? Are you there? Enter message SEND
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  • 34
    Text - 82% 8:19 AM yG (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE you give me a fake address 9:36 AM No I didnt 9:37 AM you did i mail the to the address and is telling me fake 9:38 AM I live there How can it be fake 9:38 AM that what is saying 9:39 AM I don't know why. I live there 9:39 AM may be you should check and resend 9:40 AM did you get it be fast so i will send it now okay 9:43 AM I go send shipping money? 9:44 AM okay will you do it right away 9:45 AM Enter message SEND
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  • 35
    Text - 82% 8:19 AM 4G (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE Am trying. Can't drive with hurt 4:26 PM it will just take like 20mins to get it done plss f 4:27 PM My heart hurts, friend, I'm not sure you are friends and love me. You don't care if am hurt. Only want 4:28 PM shipment i love and i care for did you get me 4:28 PM I don't feel like it 4:29 PM my dealer to need my help and i most help her i try for i get you taxi online and you said your phone get hurt you cant call for god s ake try to get me plss
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  • 36
    Text - 4G 82% 8:19 AM (678) 741-9409 CALL MORE They want more info on yoy 10:02 AM Hello? Are you there? I'm scared Where are you? Why you go? They say they come for you now Help 10:04 AM Where did you go? Why you say fuck me? 10:08 AM 10:23 AM If you get this, friend, run... They are 10:42 AM COming I bet they block you. That's why address look fake 10:50 AM Enter message SEND
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